A post after 2 year.

After 2 year. I m back here..
It been a long time I have no lepak here.

Dont know why currently got feeling wanna to write out something to here.
Maybe I have a lot of thing store in my heart and i cant speak out?

Yea, i think maybe..

I think i was trying full fill all the thing, but sometimes have something is unexpected.

I am trying hard to earn money to pay back my loan and everyday expense.
I am trying hard to spend more time to my girlfriend.
I am trying hard to be a good boyfriend.
I am trying hard to communicate with family members
I am trying hard to build a team for work.
I am trying hard to arrange all the thing in one day schedule.
I am trying hard to help out family in financial problem.
I am trying hard to perform myself and improve.

I have a lot of thing wanna to say out but I have no one to say.
Actually sometimes, I just want someone to listen to me and support me.
I feel stressed and tired, no one know. I hope I can have more time to work for everything I wanna to do.

Recently, she was angry on me, because I always broke promises to her.
Actually, that is my fault, I should not spend so much time on game and forget she is going back home. On the moment, you told me that you want done with me. I was freaked out and I am very scare. I am very scare to lost you,  without you i think I am lifeless.

Today, you said " I was expect you will late, then I ask my manager can I late a bit break". this words said out, I feel my heart is pain, very very pain. I think you said out like this is because i does this too many times until you feel disappointed to me. Today i was planned to have breakfast with you, but brother suddenly need to use car, No choice. He is doing assignment therefore have to borrow him. Because he has class, I have to send him back but meet unexpected jam, dragged my 3 hours for 1 hours journey. Reached home already 3 something. Help grandmother bath, finalize and email out all the drawing, do housework because don't want my mother said that I keep go out no do housework. therefore I almost 4 something only can go out. When I reach ur shop, You said you have wait ur colleague come back only can go out and you was continue busy. That time i was feeling sad and when you said that to me at food court, I was fainted. I am fail. I am not a good boyfriend, always make you disappointed on me. I am trying very hard to meet you, but the time of your work really not sync. sometime I free but you have to work, sometimes you free but I have to thing to do. I like to stay with you, I feel happy when I see you smile and laugh all the times.

Sometime, when I am down, I hope you can listen to me. You like to share a lot thing with me, I am trying my best to know all the thing that you share to me and remember it.

Currently I feel stress and quite down, but no one knows
I try to help mom to solve her problem, but what I get is her blame and her dark face.
trying to talk with her, she was quite and ignore me.
am I did something wrong? I trying to help also wrong?

every time get salary, I have to paid all loan and statement, and after pay all that, I left not much. That why, I not dare to date you and I not say movie with you. Cause if i go, I will have no money for the rest days of the month.

Actually, I don't what i m typing about in this post.
I just want come here to drop a post and say out something that I can't say out.

I am trying hard, I hope to get support.

Aikss. time to sleep is about 3am. and battery going die soon.

Good night world. cheer for myself.